Last week was mostly great. The news of her CT scan--although her oncologist kicked us in the shins by telling us that even tumors which shrink under therapy can ultimately lead to bad results and so her prognosis is really no different--and the end of radiation made last week great. The first couple of days were all smiles and T was in great spirits.
It wasn't long, however, before the past Friday's chemo kicked in and her white blood cell counts plummeted. With the demise of her white blood cells went her ability to heal from radiation. Wednesday through now has seen Taylor fighting the horror in her mouth, constantly gagging, sometimes vomiting as she deals with her radiation and chemo inflicted injuries without being able to fight them. Not until her counts come back up (which is probably not until late next week judging by her body's past performances) will her condition improve.
As Easter dawns through the window behind me with its promise of resurrected life, I do not feel the joy that such a day should portend. It's been a feverish night, with some of the highest temperatures I've known Taylor to have. Her breathing is labored; her sleep interrupted by bouts of gagging, coughing, throwing up, as she struggles to expel the vast quantities of bloody mucus in her throat. It's not pretty.
I can't say when she will leave the hospital. Today begins her 27th consecutive day here. She has spent all of March in this timeless room; unaware of the change of seasons outside. I want so badly for her to come home but Kris reminds me to be careful what I wish for. This night is a great example why she's better off here. Had we been home and she started this fever we would have had to rush back here which would probably mean 24 hours in the Emergency Department while they scrambled to find her a bed up here. That would certainly be worse than this.
So, I watch her fevered sleep and measure time by racing heart beats and hope for better times ahead. That can be Easter's promise.
Update from Keith: Easter: March 23rd, 2008
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2 comments:
We pray that you all receive Easter's Promise soon. We are all praying for Taylor to get home and back to her normal life as soon as possible. We are always thinking about you guys and can't wait for GOOD news!!
Love,
The Jordans in Texas
I hope this week has brought improvement for Taylor. I know it is hard for you two to see Taylor in such pain. We can't even imagine. We pray everyday for strength and peace for you and Kris and healing and strength for Taylor. My Bible Study also prays for her and they ask how she is doing each week. Phillipians 3:14 says we can do all things thru Him who gives us strength. Know that there are people all over the country praying for you and our thoughts are always with you. Bob and I both wish we could be there to give you physical support.
We Love You
Bob Penny Max and Grace
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